Toilet Humor

Ok...for some reason I've resorted back to being a two year old. But here goes:

I live alone. So I have complete control over the toilet, no wrangling about leaving the seat up or down. So usually it's up. Well...that does cause some problems. Today, I had shucked off the pants, ready to use the toilet and just sat down. I narrowly avoided the toilet bowl water. Maybe there is something to this keeping the seat down thing.

I went to Lanikai Beach with my friend today. We stopped off at the Kailua L&L. Well, their employee bathrooms were not working, both of them, "the plumber not coming". So my friend said, "I should have just gone in the ocean. I mean, fishes, whales, and sharks do. It's just one big feces pool. It's just diluted. I would have only added a little bit to it". I kind of stared for a second, choked on my beef stew, and started laughing my head off. I thought it was pretty funny. Yes, I know, I'm a two year old.